The Passion of the Christ

https://movies.yahoo.com/blogs/movie-news/10-things-might-not-known-passion-christ-011942797.html

Movies like "The Passion of the Christ," "The Greatest Story Ever Told," and "The Son of God," which I think is the title of the movie being released by Roma Downey and her husband, are precisely the reason I wrote "The Heretic's Gospel." Those movies show a very European Jesus, a god-man completely without a sense of humor or imperfections of any kind. Perpetually calm, sanctimonious, ethereal, and not the sort of man that I, personally, can relate to. Call me an iconoclast, but I like the idea that Jesus is more down-to-earth, more like the Common Man, more indicative of the fact that God exists in all of us. I can't relate to someone who believes with all of his heart that he is God's gift to the world, who is so above-it-all that he can't possibly relate to me and the things that I have gone through. But someone who has lived this life, made mistakes, gets angry and embarrassed, has doubts, and tries to make amends, that is the sort of person I can get behind with all my heart. THAT is the sort of person that I can believe in.

Measurements

In my book, I used "stones" as a source of weight measurement. Those of us from the U.S. don't use "stones" to measure human weight, but they do in England and Ireland. A "stone" is about fourteen pounds, so a person who weighs about 140 pounds would weigh about ten stones. Yeshua, for instance, might have weighed about ten stones, and Shlomo might have weighed more in the region of twenty, or 280 pounds, because he was a large man.

For those who are interested, a "span" is about nine inches, or the length of the King's hand from his longest fingertip to his wrist.  A "cubit"is about eighteen inches, or the length of the King's hand and arm from his longest fingertip to his elbow.  A "stadia" is about six hundred feet, a "hectare" is the old Greek land measurement equaling about two-and-a-half acres, and a Roman mile is about 1620 yards or 4860 feet. Now you know, and can win game shows.

Did I mention...

I have a new web page.  It can be found at www.hereticsgospel.com.

Was Simon Peter (aka "Shlomo") Mentally Challenged?

So people ask me, "Gabe, why did you make Shlomo be such a retard?" Okay, so that is politically incorrect, but that is what they ask. The answer is this: The Gospel According to Mark, which is the oldest canonical gospel, was theoretically written by Mark as told to him by Simon Peter (Shlomo) while they were in prison in Rome, and he (Mark) later went on to have his book published in Alexandria. It was an instant hit, because Christianity was just beginning to spread across the Roman world and curiosity about Jesus (Yeshua) was at an all-time high, at least for the period. Subsequently, Matthew and John came out with their own books about Jesus, as did Thomas, Jude, Mary, Philip and several others whose names I have forgotten. At least, this is the theory. The Gospel According to Luke, on the other hand, was written by a Greek physician, a Gentile who was friends with Paul of Tarsus, who never met Jesus except maybe on that road to Damascus.

Anyway, at the time, formal Hebrew schools (Yeshivas) had been around in Israel, and probably Alexandria, Babylon and Rome, for roughly a hundred years, and all little Jewish boys were given the opportunity to obtain an education so that they could study the Torah. Shlomo would also have been given the opportunity. So why didn't he write his own Gospel?  Why did he tell Mark his stories about Jesus, instead?  Maybe he couldn't read or write. Maybe he was dyslexic, and maybe the best that he could do was dictate letters and editorials. That would explain why it's "The Gospel According to Mark" instead of "The Gospel According to Peter."

And look at the things that Shlomo did, according to the canonical gospels. He saw Jesus walking on the Sea of Galilee and he jumped right into the water with the intention of walking on the Sea, himself. I know what the churches have to say about this "leap of faith," but that was a profoundly stupid thing for him to do. He could have easily drowned. He also believed that the Archangel Raphael dangled his toes in the water of the Pools of Bethesda, which is also very naive, since Greek scientists had long ago made huge strides in uncovering the laws of nature. The Jews, who have been an educated and enlightened people for thousands of years, would have known about tidal fluctuations and whatnot, too.

Besides, Jesus loved whoever who followed him and believed in him, even if that person were dyslexic or mentally challenged or disabled. And that's an important thing to know.

Nicknames in the First Century

According to Wikipedia, nicknames started around 1303 a.d., but as usual, history was written by the victors, or in this case, yet again, the Gentiles. The Tetrarch Herod Antipater was called "Antipas" for short, Joseph ben Caiaphas was mockingly called "Ha-Koph," which means "the Monkey," and Nicodemus ben Gurion was affectionately referred to as "Buni." "Shlomo" has been around forever as a nickname for "Shelomon," which is Aramaic for "Solomon" and you can bet that the name "Saul" was yet another nickname for "Solomon." Even our hero, Yehoshua bar Yosef, was nicknamed "Yeshua," or "Jesus" for short.  Nowadays, the name "Yehoshua," which is Aramaic for "Joshua" would be shortened to a simple "Josh."  Can you imagine "Josh the Savior?"  (By the way, the early Catholic Church substituted the Gentile names "Paul" and "James" for the very Hebrew-sounding names "Solomon" and "Jacob" as a way of distancing their saints from their Jewish roots. But that's the subject for a whole new rant.)

Launched the New Website!

Thanks to taking money that I should have spent on my exorbitant electric bill, the website for The Heretic's Gospel is now up and running!  It can be found at www.hereticsgospel.com, I think. (I am a Luddite when it comes to technical things.)  I have also, I think, launched my Twitter account. Not sure how that thing works, though. Anyway, like I said, the website is up and running!  Yay!